Letter Category
Alabama Lemonade
Aren’t you like, the something of Ontario?!? Why were you even in Alabama!!!!?? [AUDIO VERSION]
1915
I shudder to think of our prospects if we lose; they will surely take away all the good jobs and our God-given right to rule over this Christian Nation. [AUDIO VERSION]
Brown Tesla
The guy down the street has a brown Tesla S and he thinks he’s so cool [AUDIO VERSION]
Lying 101
I’m so excited at the possibility of you joining our faculty and since you don’t seem to work in the summer this could be a perfect fit. [AUDIO VERSION]
What A Fool Believes
Do you believe that rocket ships use fuel that is 40% magic? [AUDIO VERSION]
In The Lap Of The Gods
I think the Queen song “In the Lap of the Gods” has some very powerful philosophical truth that could really help you…[AUDIO VERSION]
Cut. It. Out.
Cut, cut, cut….[AUDIO VERSION]
Your Biggest Fan!
My husband and I own a small taxidermy shop in Huntsville and I am your BIGGEST supporter. [AUDIO VERSION]
Ontario Grateful – A True Story
I am grateful to Ontario. When I was sick, and mentally unwell, Ontario took me into its arms and saved my life [AUDIO VERSION]
…you Sir, are no Tommy Douglas.
Mr Ford, Your tweet has recently come to my attention and I can only tell you that you are correct,…
‘B’ is for ‘Barky’
After my BA, MA and PHD, I’ll owe you and the FEDS about $75k. That’s a lot for a first-year history teacher to pay off. That’s what I plan to do, teach history at high school. Not my dream job, but I’ve done the research and Freelance Historian is not viable, income-wise [AUDIO VERSION]
From: Werner Herzog
Frankly, Douglas, I understand completely your efforts to torture and inflame the human population of Ontario. They are overdue for awakening from their rampant consumerism…[AUDIO VERSION]
The Plan
It has taken us a long time and a wide variety of currencies to get to where we are now. And the plan only works DOUG, if nobody notices it until it is far too late. [AUDIO VERSION]
Buck A Water
Buck a Beer? Let’s get the water to the people first, Doug! [AUDIO VERSION]
Hurt
Dear Doug, You’ve been hurt in your life; that seems clear… [AUDIO VERSION]