Dear Doug.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I’ll tell you what you are doing, you are screwing up The Plan.

The plan was inherited from a bunch of guys that inherited it from a long line of bunches of other guys. And it is a very good plan. It goes like this: We (that is us and some people we owe favours to) take control of all the things that make money. Then we take that money and give it to each other.  While that’s happening we keep everyone who is not us (that is THEM) from getting any of that money. We keep THEM in a struggle to survive; squabbling amongst themselves over health care or daycare or welfare. It really it doesn’t matter what they argue about Doug, only that they argue while we make out like bandits. And THAT, is the plan.

 And do you know who you are in this plan? You are nobody. A nobody that we chose to wear the big boy pants in your sector. More importantly, you are the nobody who is making the plan too obvious.  It has taken us a long time and a wide variety of currencies to get to where we are now. And the plan DOUG only works if nobody notices it until it is far too late.

The way to achieve our goals DOUG is to work SLOWLY. What does not help is when Dougs like you come along and rattle the soft cages. Because then everyone in those soft cages gets all upset and we have to pause the plan for four years which is not cool.

Here is what we need you to do. STOP BEING SO FUCKING OBVIOUS. You and your little sector, I mean province are not key to the plan at this moment.  To be clear Doug, you’re not the quarterback, you are the waterboy.

This next “North of America” election matters to some friends of ours, so pretend to care about welfare, health care or daycare, some care. Make them think that you…  on second thought, just go to your cottage for five months. WE’LL call YOU after October twenty first.

Sincerely

The guys with the plan.